Funniest Joke In The World
Published by Rick on Tuesday, November 25, 2008.
A man was stood at the pub bar looking glum. He had had too much to drink and had been sick down his jacket. His mate asked him what was up.
"I had a big argument with my wife last night about getting drunk and here am I, drunk as a skunk and to top it all I've been sick down my best jacket and ruined it. I'll be in big trouble with my wife when I get home!"
"No you won't, this is what you do. Tell your wife someone else was accidentally sick on you. Put a £20 note in your inside pocket, explain what happened and pull out the £20 to demonstrate the truth of the story."
So, pleased with this plan, he staggered off home. As he lurched through the front door, his seething wife was stood waiting for him.
"YOU ANIMAL! LOOK AT YOU - YOU'RE SO DRUNK YOU CAN HARDLY STAND UP, AND YOU HAVE BEEN SICK ALL OVER YOURSELF!!"
"I'm terribly sorry darling, but it was not me who was sick on my jacket, it was a complete stranger who was sick on me. He was very apologetic and insisted I took £20 from him to get the jacket dry-cleaned."
With that he pulled two £20 notes out of his inside pocket and waved then in his wife's face.
"So why do you have two £20 notes?"
"Oh, the other one's from another complete stranger who shat in my pants."
"I had a big argument with my wife last night about getting drunk and here am I, drunk as a skunk and to top it all I've been sick down my best jacket and ruined it. I'll be in big trouble with my wife when I get home!"
"No you won't, this is what you do. Tell your wife someone else was accidentally sick on you. Put a £20 note in your inside pocket, explain what happened and pull out the £20 to demonstrate the truth of the story."
So, pleased with this plan, he staggered off home. As he lurched through the front door, his seething wife was stood waiting for him.
"YOU ANIMAL! LOOK AT YOU - YOU'RE SO DRUNK YOU CAN HARDLY STAND UP, AND YOU HAVE BEEN SICK ALL OVER YOURSELF!!"
"I'm terribly sorry darling, but it was not me who was sick on my jacket, it was a complete stranger who was sick on me. He was very apologetic and insisted I took £20 from him to get the jacket dry-cleaned."
With that he pulled two £20 notes out of his inside pocket and waved then in his wife's face.
"So why do you have two £20 notes?"
"Oh, the other one's from another complete stranger who shat in my pants."
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